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  #1  
Old 20-02-2007, 09:28 AM
BIG PETE's Avatar
BIG PETE BIG PETE is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Girrawheen where the cool kids live
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Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the
snooze button.

2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

3. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

4. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

5. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
Remember to use a timer.

6. Have a bad headache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the headache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.

__._,_.___
Never complain about getting older. It beats the alternati
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Old 20-02-2007, 09:37 AM
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Superduperman Superduperman is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 1,530
haha, those are great. gotta love duct tape
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